– Microsoft Surface tablets,every NFL team uses them and every game someonesmashes or breaks them.
And I'm the guy who fixes them.
Fixing Surface tabletsis a busy, busy job.
NFL coaches are all old men.
Most of them have Hotmail accounts.
Tablets are not a good fit.
Coaches always complainthat tablets aren't working.
But they're the ones who break them, usually by smashing them.
You can't fix that.
I spend most of my dayfilling out warranty cards, or just ordering new ones, it's easier.
I don't really have peers.
Maybe the guy who fixesthe coaches' headsets.
What a cakewalk, thosethings are made to be thrown.
I didn't realize the NFLChief Technology Officer meant teaching Andy Reidthat swiping doesn't mean peeling the screen off.
Oh, I could tell you some stories.
Rex Ryan's tablet isfull of pop-ups he got for foot porn websites.
Pete Carroll puts his gum in the USB port.
Jack del Rio just keepswriting on his with a marker.
Chip Kelly, Chip Kelly actually knowsa lot about these things.
Belichick ranted about thetablet for five minutes.
I mean, he didn't really talk,he just frowned and mumbled.
But for Belichick that's a rant.
I just want to tell theseguys it's not the tablet, it's you.
But also, why don't we just use iPads? (lively instrumental music).